Almost 5 months. Still going to AA meetings. Still going to Al-Anon meetings.
A different group of friends. A different set of priorities.

Getting wisdom teeth pulled presents challenges. How many pain killers is too much much? How much should I take? How do I know how bad the pain is? Maybe the ibuprofen will work. I'm worried that I will relapse.

Waking up after the procedure was interesting. I didn't like how my child looked, acted, sounded. I didn't want any more pain killers. I've been through this enough. After a morning of sleeping it off and some ibuprofen to help with pain, it began. The begging and swearing for something stronger. Not knowing what one pill would do. To my dismay, I broke down and gave a half pill. To bed they went again. Awoke feeling better and is now asking for a full pill at bedtime. Dreading, but at least sleep will come. Tomorrow, I'm hoping for no more pills. To be safe, I'm staying home one more day.

Never in a Million Years: Addiction

Things were once fine, but went down hill fast,

It started to get rocky and we hoped it wouldn’t last.

Asking for help was tough on the heart,

and off to rehab was the hardest part.

Never in a million years did I think it would be so.

Days upon days, feeling so low.

12 steps, Al Anon and AA

are now part of our everyday.

74 days of being chemical free

comes with bad dreams and anxiety.

Working hard day after day

to keep out the demons that took you away.

Cleansing your body, your mind and your soul

to once again make you whole.

Welcome home.

Love and Opportunites

It started this summer, when Abbey began to play soccer. I started to cry while watching her play one day. I was thinking how great it was that she was playing this sport, the sport that she had never played before, the sport that she may never have had the chance to play. Then she scored her first goal and more tears came. More opportunities.

Hannah started to play basketball this winter. We knew she liked to play, but had only been to clinics, never on a team. She handles the ball well, can outshoot her teammates in lay ups, and gives it her all. She struggles with the plays and strategies of the game, but asks a lot a questions and keeps on truckin'. Her behavior at school is less than stellar, but we still let her play. She loves it. When I watch her, I cry. She's on a team. When she scores points and I see the hugest smile on her face, I cry. I'm grateful she has opportunities.

Abbey and Sawyer had their first orchestra concert the other night. Again, more tears. More opportunities. Abbey fumbled her way on the violin, but it didn't matter. It doesn't matter that it may not be her "thing". It matters that she had the opportunity to try. Sawyer, well, he played all of his songs without music. The cello is most definitely his "thing". So proud of them.

So when you see me at a game or a concert, and I'm the sobbing mom, be patient. They're happy tears. Tears of gratefulness and opportunities.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving looked like:

the 8 of us, along with my parents

Hannah hiding under the deck just as dinner was served, crying, missing her mom

the kids loving the mashed potatoes and gravy,

but not so much the turkey

just relaxing after dinner and playing on electronics (don't judge, they were quiet for the moment)

trying pumpkin, pecan and apple/wine pie

Family Meeting

We had our first official family meeting yesterday. We've had our 3 new ones for 4 months and thought it was time. We've had some struggles between siblings being not so nice to each other and thought it was time for a little activity. Everyone got a stack of papers and a pen. Each paper was labeled with everyone in the family's name=8 sheets. Directions: on the front side, write down all positive things about the person on the paper, backside write anything negative. Rule: can't be on the outside, so no nice hair, you're pretty, etc. They were nervous to write about the negatives, but I told them that person has already heard how much you...(hate toothpaste in the sink), now you're just writing it out. Sometimes it's easier than doing it face to face. When we were done with everyone, we got our own pile back and got to read about what others said. I made a list of all the positives for each person and am going to turn it into a WORDLE to hang in their room. With the negatives, they all got a notecard to write down 2 goals to work on. Hubby and I sat down with all 6 individually and talked about their goals and let them know we'd be watching for them. The activity went great..and I haven't heard our 15 y/o swear all day (one of his goals) :-) 

Regrets=None

During the last month, Rob and I have both been asked if we regretted our decision to adopt.  Let's put it this way, when you get into a fight with your spouse, do you get a divorce?  Some days are just tough, but bailing isn't an option.

Some days are rocky.  Some days are down right ugly.

Some days I cry.  Some days they cry.  Some days we cry together.

Some days are good. Some days are great!

We've had bad grades, fights at schools, suspensions, all from different kids.  And it's only October.

We've had birthday parties and first sleep overs.  We've had soccer teams and first goals scored. 

We've had 10 visits to therapists x 4 kids.

Lots of tacos, spaghetti, pizza and chicken have been consumed.

Lots of bedroom doors coming off and going back on.  

Lots of losing phone privileges.

Much time has been spent doing homework (for some).

Much time has been spent playing with our darling neighbor kids. Thanks Chad and Kelly!

Much time has been spent on time out.

Chores are done on Saturdays.

Laundry and dishes are done by each kid on his/her day.

I love the last sentence!  My day is Saturday.

Every night a different child prays before dinner.

Every night we go around the dinner table and say something we're thankful for.

Dinner is over and we're having popcorn.  And it's quiet, calm, peaceful.

Last night sucked.  Tonight, I'm thankful for quiet calm and peaceful.

Tonight, I'm thankful for 6 kids who know how to do the right thing...at least right now.

One day at a time.

I'm thankful for what we have, the good and the not so good.

They're keepers.  Every one of them.

I don't regret our decision.  

It makes us stronger.

This was written a few days ago.

Guess what?  It's still calm, quiet and peaceful.

Definately keepers.

Random Thoughts

Well.  Some days are definately better than others.  It seems that Evan and Hannah are quite similar.  She is more 'have to have the last word' and he's more I'm going to argue my point forever.  Really, is there a difference?

Abby and Abbey do well together, but Abbey is tending to be a little immature and Abby isnt quite use to that, but puts up with it.  Paul and Abby hang out, too much if you ask me.  But, she is the only one that is close to his age and he doesn't have any friends here yet.  We've enforced the you may not sit by each other, ever, anywhere policy.  I know nothing will happen (I think), but I have to protect everyone's interest.

Abbey is a typical girl and loves most sports.  Yeah!  I've been waiting to go to more sports!  Sawyer is the only other sports fanatic.  Hannah is head strong and nothing is ever her fault (just like Evan).  Paul is pretty quiet and plays on his phone or watches TV.  Sometimes he'll interact with the boys or Abby, but rarely Abbey or Hannah.  He doesn't like sports.

It was so interesting to me that none of them had a clue about baseball.  Didn't know how to score a run, what a strike was, what the catcher does..and who on earth the ump was...Wow.  So much they've missed out on.  I'm sure this is true with all sports.

Trying to get the meds figured out.  Hannah takes them 4 times a day and is sleeping within 1/2 an hour of taking pills.  It is so scary to watch.  No wonder she has trouble in school.  The other 2 take meds, but it doesn't knock them out like it does Hannah.  

It's been busy and quite a learning experience.  Rob is patient as ever and tonight when I asked him if he ever stressed out, he responded no.  Makes me feel bad, because I tend to stress out a little more than needed.

One day at a time.